Nicola Sturgeon has been informed by Police Scotland that a chronic infection of housebreaking has invaded her Govanhill constituency and that it is a big problem knowing exactly how to control it.
Police Scotland say they have around 1,000 closes in the area to protect and a million in one chance of catching the infectious agents of crime who boot in front doors to invade, plunder and steal from their steadily weakening hosts or victims.
A senior police officer using medical terminology to lessen the harsh reality of unlawfulness in Govanhill may have satisfied the curiosity of Ms. Sturgeon, but it did nothing to assuage the growing fear for Govanhill residents that law and order has evidently broken down in their neighbourhood.
It has broken down to such an extent that even Police Scotland admit that residents are at the mercy of thieves who will steal what they want, when they want and that they are powerless to prevent it.
So what next for residents, should traumatised victims of violation, plunder and theft forget about calling Police Scotland and instead call the doctor for antibiotics to clear up the housebreaking infection?
Govanhill residents feel sickened by this diagnosis of defeat by Police Scotland and the acceptance by Ms. Sturgeon that the housebreaking infection is incurable. Surely there must be protection from plundering parasites who invade your home?